Searching for, What?
by Ahti87
Summary: This story takes place after Age of Ultron and follows Natasha as she looks for Bruce, then follows her and Bruce and what might have happened next. I do not own anything relating to these characters or the movies WARNING: a few chapters in things will get sexy
1. Chapter 1

Natasha lay on top of the bed, too heartsick and exhausted to get under the covers or into more comfortable clothes. Five months. She had been searching for Bruce Banner for five months, rarely hearing anything of substance, usually just people talking about an American doctor who had passed through, only once seeing an actual picture of him, taken as he leaned over a young woman in labor, helping her through the contractions. The picture had been taken by the woman's younger brother, who had taken it upon himself to care for her and the unborn babe after the father had died. The young man was hiring himself out to the few tourists in the Solomon Islands, and a camera had become a necessity for that. The look on the young man's face as he talked about the doctor who had saved his sister and niece's lives was admiring, he talked about saving enough money to become a doctor himself and moving them all to a better neighborhood. Natasha had given the man money for letting her look at the picture, but no amount of money would convince him to part with it, Natasha could understand that, she felt the same way. Natasha knew she would have a much easier time of it if she'd brought a picture of him, but she didn't want to expose him to any curiosity, as it was she was just a woman interested in Americans, not unheard of in this part of the world.

That picture was two months ago, and today she had hit another dead end. At the last village she'd heard of Americans in the area, three of them, five weeks ago, two of them having brown curly hair. But here the trail stopped, no one she'd talked to had seen any Americans, and there were no more villages this side of the mountains. She'd stayed here for three days, asking around, not wanting to give up hope, but today she had to admit, he hadn't been here. She may have stayed longer, but her questions were starting to raise suspicions, and there was a group of men who eyed her with calculated lust, nothing she couldn't handle, but it would be better for everyone if news of her didn't arise anywhere. After coming to that decision she forced her body to relax, and she did what she did every night.

She thought of Bruce. Not as she'd last seen him, as the Hulk flying away from her, or even when she'd kissed him, right before pushing down a shaft to force the transformation, right after he'd rescued her. But the Bruce she's seen at the Barton's farm, the resigned longing in his eyes, wanting her and trying to push her away. She held that image in her mind, reliving those moments when she thought that maybe, just maybe, he'd give in and hold her.

 _tap tap tap_

Before Natasha had registered more than it was coming from the window she'd rolled off the bed in the opposite direction, grabbing her gun as she went, coming back up in a ready pose.

There was a hand in the window, a right hand she noticed, and waving gently at her. She stood up carefully, waiting to shoot until she saw who it was.

"Natasha?"

She froze, she wasn't going by that name here, no one in this country should know that name, unless…

Bruce stepped carefully into full view, arms above his head, barely visible in the darkness outside, but it was him. Natasha rushed over to the window and opened it, staring at him.

"I heard you were looking for me. Or rather, I heard that there was a beautiful woman looking for an American doctor around here, and when I saw you…" His voice trailed off as Natasha said nothing, just staring at him. "Can I come in?" Wordlessly she stepped back, allowing him to climb into the room, she shut the window behind him, then pulled the curtains and went to light a candle. Natasha's heart was beating so fast she was sure Bruce could hear it, she could barely believe he was here, turning around she looked at him, at the uncertainty in his eyes as he glanced away, looking anywhere but at her.

"I heard there was someone looking for me when I came in town for supplies, I figured they'd be at the inn, so I came looking, I didn't mean to let anyone see me but when I saw it was you…" She faced him then, "Why wouldn't it be me?" she asked. "I thought you'd be busy, I couldn't imagine Fury sending you after me." "He didn't." Bruce started and stared at her, "Then, why are you here?" Men, Natasha thought, holstering her gun, could be so dense. "Because." was all she said as she stepped up to him and kissed him.


	2. Chapter 2

Bruce stood completely still, his mind, normally so quick, refused to comprehend what was going on, she wasn't here to take him back? He'd been expecting someone to try to find him, he knew S.H.I.E.L.D., even if it it wasn't really S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore, liked to know where all allies, especially allies who could be potentially dangerous, were at all times. But, she wouldn't come to drag the monster back and then kiss him, would she? Almost without him realizing it his arms came around her, feeling how warm she was, how slender and strong. He gave a little groan as he held her closer, it had been so long since he'd touched anyone, even casually, and she was so warm and soft, so fragile. It was that thought that let Bruce break the kiss and raise his head from hers. "You shouldn't do that, I could hurt you." Natasha could see the pain in his eyes as he said it, and decided to back off. Sitting down on the bed she said "It's good to see you Bruce, I've been worried…" she trailed off, finding it hard to believe he was really here. "You look okay" it was more a question than a statement, looks could be deceiving, she of all people knew that. "I've been okay, keeping busy" he replied, again not really looking at her "most people around here don't see doctors often so they don't ask questions when one offers to help for a nights stay and some food." Bruce sat down on the floor by the window, "So, if Fury didn't send you, who did? Stark? Cap?" Natasha sighed, "No one sent me Bruce, they don't even know where I am, I came to find you for me." Bruce stared at her, he'd never expected that, never expected she would come looking for him, but if S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't send her… "How did you find me? Without S.H.I.E.L.D. assets at your disposal." "Luck" she said, "Luck, a lot of questions, and the Patel family." "Who?" "The Patel's, a brother and sister, you helped her deliver a baby boy about three months ago." "Oh yes, how is the little guy?" "Commins Menapi Patel" Natasha said with a lopsided grin, "A healthy young baby whose mother has decided he would become a doctor like the man who saved his life." Bruce blushed, it was hidden mostly by the flickering light, but it was there. "So, they told you about a doctor?" Natasha laughed softly "Bruce, I've had dozens of people tell me about an American doctor, but Benjamin Patel had a camera, and he caught a picture of you helping his sister." Bruce started, he hadn't known there was a picture of him, then he started counting back… "That was three months ago, you've been looking for me that long?" "Bruce," Natasha said gently, "I've been looking for any sign of you for five months."

Once again Bruce's mind wouldn't catch up with the words he was hearing, five months? for no other reason that she wanted to? She had to be crazy, or lying, but, he didn't think she'd lie to him, not about this. "Natasha…" His voice trailed off, he wasn't sure how to say the next part. She raised an eyebrow at him. "What now?" Bruce blurted out, "What now that you found me, did you just want to see that I'm okay? Will you be leaving now?" Natasha looked at him for a few seconds before getting up and sitting down on the floor beside him, watching him out of the corner of her eye. "Now, if you'll let me, I'll disappear with you." Natasha reached her hand out and took one of Bruce's, gently rubbing her fingertips over the calluses and bruises of a man who's been living hard the past few months. Looking up at him Natasha could see the surprise in his face, the jaw dropping halfway to the floor was a giveaway. "But… Why?" "Should I kiss you again to convince you why?" She countered, and when he didn't immediately say no she reached for him, "No." he said quickly, "No, that's, it's, just, no." On seeing the slight hurt in her face he quickly followed it up with "I don't want to hurt you Tasha, I care too much about you to hurt you, and I don't think my control is up to kissing you again." "Okay" smiling to herself at the pet name Natasha leaned back, mostly up against the wall, but part of her leaning against Bruce's shoulder. "So, I can come with you?" Natasha held her breathe, not wanting to show him how much his answer meant to her. "I, uh, if uh, if you want…" Bruce stammered out, not really sure how to process her request. "I've been living in an abandoned farmhouse a few miles from here, up the mountain, a tree came down on the barn, but the house is in good order, rough living though." Natasha smiled at him, making his heart stutter. "That's fine, I can live rough. Just, promise me you won't leave again, not without telling me." Bruce sighed, just being with her for a few minutes dug up so many memories of the past that he would rather had forgotten about. The time at the Barton's farm, where she asked him to run away with her, and admitted to being sterilized during her time at the Red Room. And of course, her kiss, right before throwing him back down the shaft. He knew why she'd done it, later he realized he wouldn't have lived with himself if he'd left his friends in danger, but still… did she only want him for the monster? But if that was the case, why was she here? He thought he knew why she wanted to be with him, he was safe. He wouldn't ask her to kill anyone, or use her body for something, he couldn't take advantage of her, in short, he was just a friend. Yeah, his inner voice said, you want to be her "friend".

"So what should I bring to your farmhouse?" Natasha asked, "Food, blankets, firewood?

Jerked out of his own thoughts Bruce had to think a minute before replying "You'll probably want your own blankets, and food if you don't want to be making trips to town regularly. I have plenty of firewood, one of the first things I bought was an axe and I started cutting up the tree in the barn."

"Okay." Said Natasha, still playing with Bruce's fingers, wondering how to say what she wanted to next. "So, should we go now or will you stay here tonight?" Bruce jerked a little, "Stay here? Why? I thought I'd leave and head up and…" He stopped talking as Natasha shook her head. "I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night and think this was all a dream, I don't want to be alone." It was this last that decided Bruce, he knew what alone felt like, and if he was honest with himself, he didn't want to wake up thinking this was a dream either. "I'll stay."


	3. Chapter 3

Walking up to the farmhouse the next day Natasha kept up a light chatter about people back at S.H.I.E.L.D., how Tony ordered a male stripper for Captain America's birthday, Wanda lifted Tony's car onto the roof of the new bunker, and how Pepper gave Tony a pregnancy test, negative, for his birthday party, in front of everyone. Bruce laughed out loud when she described the look on Tony's face, while Natasha softly chuckled at the memory.

"So how is Wanda fitting in?" Asked Bruce, "Still struggling with Tony? Not that Tony's the easiest to get along with, but I know she blames him for her parents' death."

Natasha thought a bit before answering. "We weren't sure for a while, but Tony had a long talk with her shortly after we got back, and next thing we knew he was flying her over to her old home with funds and supplies to rebuild the town. That helped, hearing that he had stopped arms production when he discovered people were using STARK weapons against innocents helped more."

Bruce shook his head at that. "That man has to be the most generous egotistical playboy I've ever heard of."

"He is certainly something else." Natasha agreed, "He misses you."

Bruce slowed, then resumed walking. "Does he?" He asked, as if the answer didn't matter to him.

"Very much, he asked me to bring you home by Christmas."

At that Bruce did stop, "I thought you said you didn't tell anyone you were leaving?"

"I didn't, but the night I left I came out of my room to find a bag of STARK INDUSTRIES goodies, money, and a note saying _bring my big green science buddy home by Christmas,_ by which I assumed he meant you."

"Oh" was all Bruce said as he kept walking. He stared at the ground thinking about the people he'd left behind, people he'd cared about, who said they cared about him, _who proved they cared about you_ said his inner voice again, _look at all Natasha has done just to find you, you know Fury won't be happy with her, and she knew it too. She came anyway._ Bruce gave his head a little shake to silence his inner self, but before he could start another conversation he felt Natasha slide her hand into his. Startled he looked at her, but she stared around, seemingly interested in the trees surrounding them, but he saw a little smirk on her face. His heart skipped a beat, he wanted to kiss that smirk off her face, he wanted to push his fingers through her red hair and pull her close, he wanted… wanted… he wanted her. Dammit. Bruce felt the Other Guy rumble under his skin, desire was dangerous, he knew, he had to tell her to not touch him, to stay away from him. "Natasha," he started, turning toward her with the intention of explaining why she shouldn't touch him anymore.

And then she kissed him. Hard.

Bruce wasn't sure what happened, one moment he was going to tell Natasha why it was a bad idea to touch him, next he had her pushed against a tree, fingers tangled in her hair and kissing her as if his life depended on it. At that moment it felt like it. She was so soft, he felt where her breasts were pressed against his chest, her lips were warm and hungry. He groaned into her mouth and her tongue slipped in, causing him to press against her harder, grinding into her. She had one hand on the back of his head, buried in his curls, pulling him to her, while the other caressed his back before slipping under his shirt, touching his skin and pulling him even closer.

Natasha couldn't get enough of him. She burned with desire, ached with it, she'd never felt like this before, no one before Bruce had gotten so close to her, and she wanted him more than she wanted her next breath. She knew she should slow down, give them both a chance to catch their breath and talk about what was happening, but she couldn't. She was also very afraid that if she gave Bruce time to think he'd start pulling away again, and she didn't think she could stand that. So she kept kissing him, putting all the frustration and worry of the last nine months into their kiss. Every night she'd sat awake in the communications room, wondering if he'd ever let them know he was alive. Every day that she'd worked herself into the ground so she would be exhausted enough to sleep at night. And every hour of the last five months, not knowing if she'd ever find him, not knowing what to do with her life if she didn't. She put it all into their kiss.

Sometime later Bruce pulled away. Trying to catch his breath he looked down at Natasha, she had a beautiful, sexy smile on her face, which just made him want to kiss her again. Bruce leaned his forehead against hers, smelling her hair and enjoying the feel of her.

"You shouldn't have done that Natasha, I'm dangerous."

"Mmmm" she said, "You certainly are."

When he looked at her quizzically she said "Have you ever seen your ass in those jeans? I could barely keep my hands to myself on the way up." Startled, Bruce burst out laughing, here he was worried about hulking out and hurting her, and she was looking at his ass! "You are something else Natasha Romanoff." He said as he pulled her into a hug, just for a moment forgetting the need to stay distant. He gallantly offered her his arm with a bow, and with a ladylike curtsy she accepted, and they resumed their walk.


	4. Chapter 4

"Are we there yet?"

Bruce rolled his eyes at the question, one Natasha asked any time the silence seemed to last too long or get uncomfortable. "Almost, once we get to that stream" he pointed at the ribbon of water in the distance "we're only about a half hour walk up-stream."

"Very accommodating of nature to give you an easy landmark."

"Isn't it? If only it had given me indoor plumbing too, life would be perfect."

At that Natasha laughed, "After all your time in India, living with Tony turned you into a clean freak huh? Most men I've known have to be forced into a shower at knifepoint, not forced out of one."

Bruce grinned at Natasha, "Have you forced many men in, or out, of showers with your knife?

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you think I've ever needed a knife?"

"No, I think you've never had a problem making men do anything you want." Bruce had meant it as a compliment, but Natasha's eyes became sad and she looked down quickly. Forcing a light tone into her voice she said "Oh? There's one guy I can't seem to get to do anything I want, I may have to break out the club if he doesn't get the idea soon."

Bruce slowed, then resumed his normal pace. "You know it isn't safe around me Natasha, I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me Bruce."

"You don't know that."

At that Natasha stopped and swung around to face him. "I DO know that dammit! The Other Guy saved my life Bruce, he's saved Tony's, he's never once hurt anyone on the team during the entire hunt for Hydra, he will not hurt me!" She was practically shouting, and she didn't care, how could she make him understand? Her entire life she'd been trained to hide her feelings, to only use the truth if it benefited the mission, but with Bruce she had to show her feelings, had to use the entire truth, no matter what, or everything she wanted would be lost. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, when she opened them she looked Bruce straight in the eyes, willing him to see the feelings there.

"I know it's possible that I could get physically hurt accidentally, but it's my choice to make, bruises don't matter, you do."

Bruce just looked at her, she saw the want in his eyes, how badly he wanted to believe her, he had to believe her, he just had to…

Bruce couldn't believe her. He wanted to, how much he wanted to! But he didn't dare, he didn't know if he could ever survive waking up after the Other Guy to see Natasha hurt, to see her afraid of him again. He didn't remember much about New York after he nearly broke the helicarrier, but he remember seeing her face, right after he changed, he remember the fear. He couldn't go through that again. He turned and started walking toward the stream, tucking his hands in his pockets. He thought she might leave then, or yell at him, what he didn't expect was for her to tackle him from behind…

Natasha jumped on Bruce's back, using her momentum and legs to knock him off balance. Rolling him over she straddled his hips, caught his hands, which had come out to flail around, up with hers and pressed them to the ground over his head, leaving her looking down at him with maybe a foot of distance between them.

Bruce's face showed utter shock, he just lay there, some leaves in his hair and a twig digging into his back, and he just lay there, staring up at the woman who just tried to commit suicide via hulk. She glared down at him, fire in her eyes as she stared at him as if she could see into his soul.

"Do not" she started, "walk away from me again Bruce, I couldn't stand it again, I can't stand to lose you again."

"I, I wasn't going to run…" Bruce started, trying to understand what she was upset about. Natasha cut him off, "You ignored what I was saying to put your own interpretations on it, do you think I'm not intelligent enough to know what I want? To know who I want?" He kept staring at her, she was so beautiful when she was angry, why would she want him, how could she want him? He was a monster, he had tried to kill her once, he couldn't have a normal life, he was a monster, he was a monster…

"I'm a monster." Bruce said, "there's no future with me, there is nothing with me, I'm a monster who can't be trusted."

"So am I." Natasha said softly, "I've read your file Bruce, I have a higher kill count than you do, and I don't have a rage beast inside me, it's just me, just the monster in my head, no one else."

"It's, it's not your fault…" Bruce tried to say, tried to understand what she was telling him, "You were brainwashed, conditioned…"

"Doesn't matter" She interrupted, "I still did it, I still have that blood on my hands and no amount of self-justification or excusing will change that." Natasha sat, pinning Bruce down with her body, her arms and legs knew what to do, it was instinctive now, he couldn't get up without throwing his entire weight into it, and he didn't have the leverage needed. She needed to make him understand, and he wasn't getting up until he did.

"I," Natasha paused, getting her nerve up to expose her emotions, "I want you, Bruce, I want to be with you, and I'm willing to take the risks. I want to try to get physical with you, and see what happens, I want…" She stopped, she couldn't say anymore, her eyes burned with tears she automatically suppressed, her insides screaming at her to tell him, admit she loved him, how lost she'd felt when he hadn't been there. But she couldn't, she'd been alone too long, hurt too many times to take that risk, not now, not yet. Natasha looked down at Bruce, seeing the battle in his eyes, he wanted to believe her, he wanted her if what she felt under her was any indication, (a small part of her mind noted that supposedly impossible feat, and didn't think she'd be correcting that particular part of his file if she ever saw it again) but he was afraid, afraid to trust her feelings, afraid of hurting her. She finally gave up trying to find the words, she leaned down and kissed him, gently at first, coaxing him to respond to her, letting go with one hand so that she could run it down his arm and into his hair, she'd never tell him how much she adored his curls.

What was Natasha's obsession with his hair? Bruce thought distantly, most of his mind trying to wrap around Natasha's words, while his entire body screamed to have Natasha doing the wrapping around, and what was that about? Bruce just kissed her back, automatically at first, but when she let go of his arms he lifted his hand up to cradle the back of her head, angling his mouth to kiss her better. He was in so much trouble. He was very afraid he was in love with her, and how would he live with that? He couldn't tell her, that was for certain, but he didn't want her to think he was taking advantage of her… and then Natasha shifted her hips, and every last thought in his head vanished.


	5. Chapter 5

_I have no idea how to transition from last chapter to now, so rather than wait and not post I thought I'd just "wing it" and maybe re-write it later._

 _Update: sorry for the lack of updates, There's been some health issues in the house and it's taking up time with doctors appointments and stuff._

 **Chapter 5**

Bruce slowly came out of a fog, a feeling similar, but not exactly like when the Other Guy takes over, to find himself braced over Natasha, kissing and grinding against her. Later, she told him he suddenly just picked her up and rolled them both over, but that had to be an exaggeration, right? He wasn't strong enough to do that... Bruce had opened his eyes to see Natasha's beautiful face, eyes filled with desire and joy, and the sweetest smile ever on her face.

"That's better." Was all she said, it was enough.

"So, I guess we're running with this?" Bruce asked hesitantly.

Natasha gave him a lazy smile, and held him still when he would have gotten off her.

"We are definitely running with this."

The walked the rest of the way to the cabin slowly and holding hands, Natasha slowly drew the story of his flight out of Bruce, how he'd flown until it ran out of gas, then jumped out close to land. Natasha winced in sympathy at that part, Hulk or no, it had to have hurt.

"After the Other Guy left I got up and started walking, I hit a village a few miles inland, where I found out I was in Fiji. A nice family put me up for the night and fed me dinner, so I stayed a couple weeks helping them around their farm. When I left I had a new set of clothes, some food, and directions to the next village 10 miles away."

"That was nice of them, did they have any daughters?"

"Two in their mid teens, why?" Bruce looked over and saw Natasha's smirk, he flushed a little, realizing he was being teased. "It wasn't like, that, they were spoken for, the blacksmith's son and the butcher's son, they had good dowries."

Natasha laughed softly, "You are such a dork."

Bruce decided to try turning the tables, "Well what about you? How was your, search, meet any young men?"

Natasha thought about the slavers she'd first encountered in Fiji, and the number of propositions she'd gotten, and some assumptions, since then. She smiled at Bruce. "Oh, there were a few."


	6. Chapter 6

_Very sorry about the slow updates, health and family problems, on top of a two week vacation has been stressful, I will try to do much better._

 _Also, I've discovered I love reviews, they make my day._

Chapter 6

Bruce bowed Natasha in through the door of the farmhouse, "My lady, the castle awaits."

Natasha laughed, "Oh, am I your lady now?" She watched Bruce's cheeks redden with a smile before stepping up, kissing his cheek and walking in with a flounce, calling back "I will take tea in the drawing room."

Bruce followed her, laughing, "You didn't strike me as the flouncing type Natasha, did living with the Avengers turn you into a girl?" As soon as the words left his mouth Bruce knew he'd made a mistake, Natasha slowly turned toward him, utter glee in her eyes as she arched an eyebrow. In a sophisticated, posh tone she asked "Did it _turn_ me into a girl, Doctor Banner? What, pray tell, was I before that?"

Bruce's face got redder as he sidled through the door and started backing toward the kitchen, thoughts jumbling in his head trying to find a way out of this.

"I, uh, you're probably thirsty, I'll get you a drink." He turned and fled into the kitchen.

Natasha debated the best course of action, to follow or not. Bruce was reacting rather well to her advances, not running in fear at the first touch, it was gratifying, she'd never laid siege to someone before. _But then_ , she thought to herself, _you never loved someone like this before_. Straightening her shoulders Natasha followed Bruce into the kitchen.

Bruce stood in kitchen, slowly banging his head against the cupboard, cursing his inability to flirt. _Not that I WANT to flirt with Natasha_ , he thought to himself, while that treacherous voice in the back of his mind called him a liar. _What is she doing with me? Why is she here?_ He wanted to know, he NEEDED to know, he took a deep breath and prepared to go back into the living room.

"That's an odd way of opening the cupboard."

Bruce spun around to see Natasha leaning against the doorjamb, one eyebrow raised, and a slightly confused look on her face. Bruce blushed and stammered, "I, uh, tripped."

"Tripped?"

"Yeah, fell into the cupboard door."

"I see." Natasha was quiet a second, "you tripped and fell into the door five times in a row?"

Bruce blushed harder. "Natasha…" She stood quietly, waiting for him to finish. _What is it about this woman that ties my tongue in knots?_ He took a deep breath, "Natasha, why are you here?"

Her look of confusion deepened. "I told you Bruce, I'm here for you."

"But, why? I'm hardly a catch, and I can't take care of you like you deserve, I can't give you anything…"

"Stop right there" Natasha practically growled, standing up straight in an unconscious battle stance, " **I** will decide whether I think you're worth "catching", and I didn't come here to have you "give" me things, if I wanted things I could be with some rich European business man as his third mistress, trust me, I've had offers, I didn't want them, you are the ONE person in longer than I like to remember that I _wanted_ , and it isn't for your money, or your looks, or how well you take care of me, it's because you are YOU!"

Natasha closed her eyes and stopped shouting, fury radiating from her, how could he not GET it, didn't he see how much he meant to her, didn't he know? When she opened them again Bruce was standing there looking dumbstruck.

"B-but," he stammered, "WHY?"

Natasha sighed.

"When S.H.I.E.L.D./Hydra fell and all the files were released, did you read any of them?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, everyone did, and I wondered what information they had on me…"

Natasha nodded. "Most people did, did you read any of the files about me?"

Bruce blushed. "A few, I just happened upon them, I didn't go looking or anything…"

Natasha just smiled wearily. "You are the only person who didn't know what was in those files prior to their release that didn't treat me differently afterward."

Startled, Bruce met her eyes. "The only one? I couldn't have been, Tony, Steve, hell Thor for crying out loud…"

Natasha shook her head, "Tony mostly stopped joking about sex around me, Steve treated me with kid gloves, as though I was mentally traumatized, even Thor made a comment about the bravest warriors having battle scars and still fighting. You are the only one who treated me the same, no sidelong looks, no whispering, just me."

Things had been worse than she let on, she knew of two people who worked for Fury who had been fired for making comments about the "Russian spy" and one man at Stark Tower who she didn't see again after he asked her to "look for government secrets" in his pants. She hoped he was only fired, sort of. After being treated as either a pariah or a broken prostitute spending time with Bruce had been good, a chance to forget that the world knew all her dirty little secrets, she was just grateful that Fury had worded some of her more classified missions very carefully, no one needed to know the details of those, she wished she could forget.

Bruce was quiet for a long moment. "I'm sorry"

Natasha laughed humorlessly, "For what? Like I said, you were the only one who didn't treat me differently."

"Then I'm sorry people are stupid."

Natasha just looked at him, "If you're going to apologize for stupid people, you'll never shut up."

Bruce half-smiled, "Yeah I guess I would be, then how about I just say I'm sorry you had to go through that?"

"That works" Natasha said, as she came forward and rested her head on Bruce's chest. His arms automatically went around her as she hugged him.

"Are we ok?" Bruce said after a bit. "I mean, this, whatever it is, are we still, running with it?"

"Yeah." Natasha said softly, "We're running with it."


	7. Chapter 7

_This one is a little short, I but the next one will be up soon I promise!_

* * *

Chapter 7

The next week went by with little of import happening, Natasha worked out every morning, Bruce usually watched her, sometimes he joined her, but mostly he watched, and every time he caught her eye she smiled. Bruce kept chopping away at the fallen tree in the barn in the mornings, afternoons were spent with both of them winterizing the house, and evenings were spend either walking through the woods or working on various projects in the house, Bruce had learned to carve and was trying to make spoons, Natasha tried not to laugh at his attempts while she knitted. After the first day they didn't talk about how they felt, instead they talked about others, the Avengers team, the people Bruce had met during his travels, and how the cultures differed from the places he'd worked as a doctor. Once a week they both walked down to the village to buy supplies, Bruce had saved everything he could while working his way, and Natasha had brought more, so they even bought food at a local inn, although Bruce refused to eat it there, so they carried it home and warmed it back up, talking and laughing, pretending they were in a fancy restaurant.

During their third week Bruce was showing her the meadow of wildflowers he'd found, picking one and tucking it behind her ear. Natasha put her hand up to hold his to her cheek when he would have brought it down.

"Bruce, I, I need to tell you something."

Bruce frowned slightly, "What's wrong?"

Natasha swallowed, fear of what his reaction would be tightening her throat. "I, I um…" Her voice trailed off, her heart hammering as she tried to say she loved him.

"I…" She couldn't do it, she was a coward, but she couldn't do it. "I saw some men in the market yesterday, I think they were slavers, I saw them there before, I'm thinking… maybe I shouldn't go there with you anymore."

Bruce jerked in surprise, "Slavers? That's a thing here?"

"It's a thing _everywhere_ Bruce, the only difference is how open it is."

Bruce frowned, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, I trust your judgement, so stay home next time." He pulled her in and hugged her. "I couldn't bear it if something happened to you."

Natasha hugged him back, willing herself not to cry, why was saying it so hard? She'd dreamed of finding him and telling him, she'd run through the conversation in her mind a hundred times. So why, she asked herself, was saying it aloud so hard? Perhaps, her inner voice said, because if you say it outside your dreams he'll reject you. Natasha hugged Bruce harder, fighting back tears and trying to ignore the voice in her head.


	8. Chapter 8

_Some of you have reviewed (which I love btw_ _) that Bruce and Natasha just need to say "I love you", get it over with and stop doubting that the other cares about them, I'd like to explain my reasoning. It seems that Natasha, as the Black Widow, has probably used her body to get the results required, whether from the Red Room, or later, S.H.I.E.L.D. I don't think S.H.I.E.L.D. would have ever_ _ordered_ _her to do it, but if it helped the mission, I think after her time in the Red Room Natasha became, desensitized almost, to sex and her body, trained to think of it as just another weapon rather than something special to share with someone she cares about, so saying "I love you" was never something she meant, and a person's reaction to it wasn't important, with Bruce, it's very important. That's my take on Natasha, Bruce is easier, he's spent so long believing he's a monster, he's convinced that no one could ever love him, and admitting that he loved someone else would just open him up to heartache. So there you have it._

 ** _WARNING!_**

 _Explicit sex scene in this chapter, if that bothers you, stop reading, there will be more from here on out._

Chapter 8

The next week Bruce left early for town, and Natasha tried to busy herself with washing clothes in the stream. She was finishing the last rinse around noon when she heard a twig snap behind her, thinking it was Bruce she stood up smiling… and didn't see the three men standing by the house until after the tranq dart hit her.

Bruce hurried home after shopping, after a month of being with Natasha being without her was harder than he thought. He'd missed holding her hand on the walk, and not having her around to help him haggle meant he'd spent more than he should have, but was done quickly. It was around noon when he got home, he dropped the groceries in the door, but when he didn't see Natasha he went outside. He started around the house when he heard laughter, _male_ laughter; he ran around the house and stopped dead at the scene that met him.

Natasha lay on the ground, her leggings had been cut off and there was a long cut on her thigh, at first Bruce thought she was unconscious, but then he saw her eyes open, but unfocused, _drugged_ , his brain supplied, but when he saw the two men holding her down, while the third started unbuckling his pants, Bruce's world went red.

Natasha's brain was clear, but she couldn't focus her eyes, or move her limbs, her mind raced along and noted that she'd been darted with a fast acting paralytic drug, but due to the fast effect time it would probably wear out fast. But, her brain told her, recognizing the sounds of a buckle, not fast enough to keep her from getting raped.

And the she heard a roar.

The Hulk ran out of the trees with one thought on his mind, get those men away from Natasha. The man with his pants down didn't even see him, he was grabbed by his neck and crushed. One of the men who had held Natasha down ran, while the other grabbed a gun and shot at Hulk. A large green hand grabbed the hand with his gun and squeezed, crushing his hand, but before he could scream the other hand punched him, snapping his neck back with a crack. Then he ran after the fleeing man.

Natasha was able to move soon after she stopped hearing the screams of the last man, she slowly got to her knees, then took her cut pants down to the river to clean the blood off her thigh before limping back to the house. She had to find Bruce, but she was cold and needed to put something else on, as well as get something for Bruce to wear. She pulled on a skirt and grabbed the one blanket she hadn't washed yet, then walked, a bit unsteadily, out of the house.

She found the Hulk about half a mile down the river, pounding what used to be a man into a big rock, she tried to call out to him, but her voice was too shaky for him to hear, so she kept walking forward. Perhaps 10 feet away the Hulk's nostrils flared, and he spun around to look Natasha, dropping the man's body on the ground and moved toward her. Natasha stood still and looked into his eyes, seeing his worry, "Hey big guy, I'm alright" she tried to smile, but something was off, the Hulk's body was shrinking, but his eyes were still shining green, and even after he was Bruce-sized again his skin held a green tint.

Natasha tilted her head, looking at him, "Bruce?" But before she could say anymore he'd grabbed her, holding her close and kissing her. Natasha froze, this was NOT Bruce in control, but still, she pulled away, looking into his eyes, there, there was her Bruce, she smiled, "Hey" he smiled back, and then she realized he was not only naked, but aroused. He picked her up easily and started kissing her again, a bit harder, as if she were his only outlet for whatever was driving him, and she wrapped her arms and legs around him and kissed him back. She felt when he laid her on the ground, but it wasn't until she felt the breeze on her thighs that she realized he'd pulled her skirt up, positioning himself between her legs. Natasha froze, and Bruce, Hulk, looked up sharply, eyes narrowing in confusion.

"O-okay?" He said, the first time she'd ever heard Hulk speak. Natasha looked into his eyes, saw the desire, saw _Bruce's_ desire, and felt her own. She nodded, "Okay." He growled and pushed in, startling a gasp from her, he froze, but she pulled him to her and gasped "Don't stop."

He didn't.

Afterwards, Bruce - and it was Bruce again - was asleep on top of her, Natasha managed to pull the blanket more or less over both of them, grimacing at the soreness, and the stone digging into her hip, but she couldn't move much without waking Bruce up, and she knew from previous experience that sleeping after he'd changed back was the best thing for him. Besides, she wasn't sure what exactly this new development would do for him, and she didn't want to upset anything. Plus, it gave her time to think, but there was really only one thing on her mind.

What on _earth_ was she going to tell Bruce when he woke up?


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry this chapter took so long to post, I just couldn't get happy with the way the "talk" went, and since it's a pivotal point in the story I wanted to take my time with it, it still isn't perfect so I may come back later and tweak it._

Chapter 9

Bruce came awake slowly, becoming aware of two main things. His legs were cold, and there was a stick under his knee, but his waist on up was warm, and comfortable, and he felt, good. He blinked his eyes open, realizing that there were fingers lightly running through his hair.

And then he realized he was lying between Natasha's legs, and he was naked.

Bruce pushed off her and stumbled back, luckily landing against a tree with the blanket still around him, he stared in shock at Natasha, who slowly sat up, pushing her skirt down and shifting over slightly, pulling a rock out from underneath her. She looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"So, how do you feel?" Bruce kept staring at her, she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, dislodging leaves and twigs. "Okay, let's try again, what do you remember?" It was an old question, in the beginning, when they first started learning to harness the Hulk, she would ask him that after he changed back, but it started upsetting him, so she stopped asking.

Bruce closed his eyes, as much to avoid staring as to concentrate. "I, remember coming home, you weren't in the house so I went back outside, I heard men laughing from by the river." Natasha noticed his hands balling into fists and she stood up, moving closer to him.

"I remember seeing your eyes, I guessed you were drugged, then I saw the bl-blood on your thigh, and saw the man undoing his belt." He opened his eyes then, seeming unsurprised to see her standing near.

"So I killed him." He said flatly. "I killed two men, and chased after the third, once I caught him, things got a little fuzzy, I was so angry at him… but after that it felt like a dream."

"Do you remember it at all?"

Bruce blushed and looked down. "Um, no, nothing."

Natasha knelt in front of him, "Hey, it's me, look at me please."

Bruce looked up, "I, um, what happened?"

Natasha smiled. "Well, you seemed rather agitated until you'd reassured yourself I was ok, and then you were ready to put the past behind us and move forward, as quickly as possible."

Bruce paled a little, "Um, how, uh, forward, did he, we move."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "I believe the term is "all the way"."

Bruce groaned and hung his head. "I, he, we raped you then." He said it as if a statement.

Natasha was so surprised she said nothing for several seconds, then she took his face in her hands and made him look at her.

"Bruce," she said quietly, "it wasn't rape, it wasn't even close."

Bruce didn't seem to know what to say about that.

"But, you couldn't have possibly **wanted** that could you?"

"It's rather a natural thing Bruce, people do it every day."

"But him, I, **we** …"

"We had sex Bruce, is that okay with you?"

Bruce just stared at Natasha, after a moment she started to feel a little panicked, had she misjudged him? was it just the Hulk that desired her? Just before she started to move away he blurted out "Are YOU okay with that?" Relief filled her as she looked at him and considered her next words.

"If I hadn't been, he would have stopped."

Bruce started at that, "He would, what? How do you know that."

"Because I was startled by the sudden movement, and he stopped and didn't move until I said okay." Natasha explained, "Bruce I **know** he would have stopped if I'd wanted to, I know it."

Bruce kept staring.

"Bruce? Are you, are you okay?" A horrible occurred to her, "Did, did _you_ not want to? Did he force _you?_ "

Slowly his hands came up and cupped her face, then moving slowly he kissed her. Several seconds later he rested his forehead against hers and breathed deeply.

"I've dreamed about it nearly every night since you found me, how could I not? You're such an incredible woman Natasha, any guy would want, would think... " His voice trailed off, unsure what to say.

Natasha took one of his hands in hers, "We can talk about it later if you want, right now, think you could help me back to the cabin and look at my thigh?"

For a moment Bruce blushed scarlet, then he recalled the blood he'd seen and froze a moment, then shot to his feet, reaching down to help Natasha to hers. As he stood the blanket fell off completely, and he blushed harder as he tried to both catch the blanket and cover himself and help Natasha.

Natasha laughed, "You've nothing to hide you know, and no reason to, you're a very attractive man."

Still blushing Bruce clumsily knotted the blanket around his waist before picking Natasha up and cradling her in his arms. "Habit." He mumbled as he walked toward the cabin.


End file.
